My Testimony

The Bible says that if a person is in Christ, then he is a new creature ; old things have passed away and all things are new. This is true in my life.

According to the National Alliance for Homeless , there are on average 3.5 million homeless people each year. According to the prostitution network, one million women work as prostitutes, and 1% of those women average a four year career in prostitution. Every year there are over 100,000 arrests. Average prostitution and solicitation arrests include 70% women, 20% men, and 10% customers. Out of that average 85-90% are street-workers. Across the board, 100% of prostitutes have experienced sexual, physical and mental abuse. Most prostitutes are raped between eight to ten times a year, but only 4 to 7% report it and seek help.

My Story:

I was raised in more than your typical dysfunctional family. It was the epitome of physical and alcohol abuse! Because I was just a desperate, lonely child reaching out to whatever or whoever would embrace me, I got heavily involved in drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity, which led to a 20 year drug addiction, homelessness, and prostitution.

By the time I was 14, I was a full blown addict, had been in foster homes, and quit school with an eighth grade education. I then left home and lived on the road for 3 1/2 years racing horses. At 19, I married my first husband, who was seventeen years my senior. I was longing for a father. I immediately got pregnant and gave birth to our son, Christopher. One year later, I divorced him and married another who was also considerably older than me. I was still looking for a father. My second husband and I were very abusive to one-another. The only things that we had in common were that we both loved to drink and we both loved to use drugs. We fought in the same way my parents did, putting my son in the same environment that I was raised in. At the time, I did not know that this was wrong.

At the age of two, my son was forced to take care of himself as well as of me. I would be hung over all the time from drinking. Christopher would help me to the couch, put a washcloth on my head, and a trash can under me when I would vomit. He would sit with me, stroking my hair, assuring me that I would be ok.

My husband and I used cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol. After a couple of years of this, I ventured out to experiment with something different. Crack-Cocaine, would now be my drug of choice. Within six months, I lost custody of my son, divorced a second time, sold virtually everything in my home, and then my home for a mere $1500.

Now I was homeless and had nothing else of equity for my dope. As a result, I turned to prostitution. It wasn’t difficult because I had never been faithful to anyone or anything anyway. As a homeless prostitute, I was a part of the statistics we spoke about earlier. Occasionally, I would see someone that I knew. I would feel so embarrassed and ashamed. Unfortunately, those feelings did not stop me from continuing in my lifestyle. I just kept getting deeper in bondage to the drugs and the streets. The streets even became addictive…I was a truly prisoner.

I would not sleep; I could not sleep. I would not eat; I could not eat. Sometimes I would go seven days in a row without sleep and up to nine days without food. I had a $1000 a day habit to feed, and a pimp who made sure of this. When I would sleep, it was in a tent in the woods or on benches at bus stops. I would pass out at men’s houses. Occasionally, I would get lucky and be able to get a motel room, only to be kicked out later by the owners. The only time I would really eat is when I would get arrested and go to jail, which was frequently. I was so hungry and malnourished that I would sit by the garbage cans in jail and get food from the other inmates. I was so skinny and pitiful. I weighed eighty pounds, had a sunken face, and sores all over my body from cocaine poisoning.

When I tell this particular part of my testimony, it makes me think of Lazarus . Oh how I love to read about Lazarus and how much Jesus loved him! He was the first person in the Bible I could identify with. Society looked upon him then as society “did” on me…a loser. It is nice to know that God is no respecter of persons. He calls the sick and makes them well.

By the late 90‘s, I had a huge reputation on the streets. I was not only a prostitute, but a well known drug dealer. I sold marijuana, crack, and pills. I accumulated many arrests, three pages long, and even was one of Alachua County’s most wanted. I was on TV and in the papers with a reward on my head; however, I was a “catch me if ya can” kind of person, and I would hide out.

As a result, I was so paranoid and schizophrenic, I would hear voices. I would chase people in the woods with knives that were not there. I would crawl on my belly like a snake half of the time, because I was absolutely terrified to stand up. I just knew that somebody was watching me and they were out to get me. I had been robbed at gunpoint and raped countless times, and all I could do was cry. Not always because of what happened to me, but because all of my dope and money were gone, and I had to start all over.

You may ask me, “Where was God in all of this?” Well, glad you asked. He was there all the time.

I was just moments away from many deaths on the streets. Many of my friends, other prostitutes, were murdered. Sassy was found in a dumpster, Lisa was found with her eyes cut out, some were shot, some stabbed, some beaten. The one death that made a difference in my life was in a dope house off of Archer Road in Gainesville. See, I had been praying for God to take my life, “Ok God, if you are real, just take me.” I’d had enough and all I wanted to do was die. I was sick to death of crying all the time, and even more sick of taking risks for people who could care less about me. I was sick of crying in fetal positions when I could not get a hit. Death was the only route for me. I was SOOOO trapped.

God showed me on August 19th, 2001 just exactly what the answer to my prayer would look like. I had gone to a crack house to purchase dope, which was nothing unusual. After I got my supply, I went into the back room to smoke some. When I walked into the room there was a lady lying on the bed with her eyes open. She was not moving. I quickly realized she was dead. She had overdosed and hung herself. The owner of the house had cut her down and laid her on the bed and continued to sell dope as if nothing had happened. I promptly left the home, not realizing at the time this was an answer to my prayer.

God had showed me exactly how I was to die if I kept going in this direction. See, this woman was 31, and so was I. She was 5 feet 4 inches, and so was I. She had blonde hair and green eyes, and so did I. So many similarities! God showed me that this is exactly how I was to die, all alone in a crack house where nobody cared- if I was lucky. I know what it is like personally to live Deuteronomy 30:19 I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses, now choose life.”

My prayers changed after this even though I didn’t right away. I did not know what to pray or even how to pray, but I knew that I had to do something different. The death of this woman literally consumed my thoughts. I was sorry for her and even more for me. On November 5th 2001, just two months later, I got clean and sober, and on January 27^th, I received Christ as my Savior.

 Since then, God has done an awesome transformation in my life. The Bible says, “For when you were slaves of sin, you were free from allegiance to righteousness. And what fruit was produced then from the things you are now ashamed of? For the end of those things is death. But now, since you have been liberated from sin and become enslaved to God, you have your fruit, which results in sanctification and the end is eternal life!”(Rm 6:20-22)

It is not easy all the time. Sometimes I have to remind my emotions that my heart is just longing for Heaven and Father God.

I am basically a very happy person. I love to laugh, and I love to make others laugh. The Bible says, “Blessed is the man that hears the word of God and keeps it.” No, I am not what I am supposed to be, but I thank God that I am not what I used to be.

Today, I have an absolutely wonderful life. I have found my Father and received Jesus. I am reunited with my best friend and son, Christopher, who is now in college on a full-ride scholarship for a BA in music education. He has received Jesus Christ as his personal Savior, and got baptized in June 2005. We absolutely rejoice at what God has done!

I have great health and a healed body. I have been given a world of godly friends, an amazing church, and an awesome ministry! I get to do what I love to do most, tell others about Jesus! What a blessing.

Today, I glorify God. I love to be in His presence doing His will. I have so much opportunity and potential to be a mighty woman of God. “He who has been forgiven much, loves much.” I enjoy giving hope to the people that are so easily forgotten about, like I was. Not many success stories are heard of or told from the streets. I pray to God to make that change. I want to be an educator of His word not only to the streets, but to the church, society and judicial society. I will be a voice for a living God who cares enough for me to let his only son die for me.

I have only just begun to live the life. “For I know the thoughts and plans I have for you, thoughts to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11 ) What the enemy meant for evil, God HAS turned for His glory.